Of the multitude of ways to gain Internet celebrity, the way that comedian, writer, actor, and musician (does this guy sleep?) Dave Hill earned his claim to web glory is the stuff of legend. And this summer, he’ll regale readers with totally true series of circumstances that cemented his odyssey in the “What the–?” hall of fame in Internet lore—which is saying so much.
Last month, Oni Press debuted issue #1 of the comic Dark Regards, beginning the wild and winding tale of how Hill adopted a secret identity that thrust him into the limelight as an American black metal icon… sorta. Sprinkle in some business that involves an international incident that almost ends in horror—maybe?—and what more could you want out of a comic?
I spoke with Dave Hill recently about the conceit of Dark Regards, the fantastical elements behind this tale, working with artist Artyom Topilin on the series, and how the story of Witch Taint is a yarn that won’t die.
There are so many twisting and turning stories on the Internet—especially the early years of the web—that are the stuff of legend and I think that the ballad of Witch Taint is one of them. It’s fun to hear Dave Hill retell it with a few years perspective behind him and with a touch of whimsy and wildness overlaid on top of an already over-the-top tale.
Dark Regards #1 cover A by Artyom Topilin
FreakSugar: Before we get into the comic itself, for folks unfamiliar with the story, what can you tell us about the phenomenally insane story behind it?
Dave Hill: In the early 2000s, I was really getting into Norwegian black metal. Back then, it was way more obscure than it is today, so it was a lonely journey. I had a couple other friends who were into it maybe, but it wasn’t like it is today where black metal is a part of pop culture and there’s memes and all that based on it.
One night, I stumbled upon a black metal website that had the email addresses of a bunch of black metal bands, so I decided to email all of them just for my own enjoyment and tell them I thought their music wasn’t nearly as extreme and satanic as I’d hoped it would be. Most of the bands told me to fuck off, but one of the addresses was actually the record label of one of the bands and we ended up corresponding for like six months while I pretended to be a teenager from Indiana named Lance, who lived with his mother and had a band called Witch Taint. Eventually, my buddy John and I even recorded a Witch Taint demo and sent it to the label.
I never intended to share any of the correspondence with anyone when I started- it was truly for my own entertainment and no one else’s. But then I showed it to a couple friends and it began to spread around. The rest is black metal and Internet legend. Incidentally, you can read the entire email exchange that inspired Dark Regards at theblackmetaldialogues.com if you’re interested.
FS: Why did you think the comic medium was the best place to tell your tale?
DH: The comic medium has endless possibilities and the only limit is your imagination. It’s not like a movie where the budget dictates what it’s going to look like. If you want to have a guy’s face melt off or whatever in a comic, you can do it. And it was exciting to combine my words with Artyom Topilin’s awesome art. He really nailed it.
FS: Following up on that, Artyom Topilin’s art just marries perfectly to the story. What is the collaboration like? What considerations do you have to make when translating your story to print?
DH: I totally agree. I was a huge fan of his work and it was so cool to collaborate with him on it. We’ve never actually met- I live in New York City and he’s somewhere in Europe. And I pretty much let him do his thing. I had some minor notes on a couple things here and there, but it was more fun to just let him run with it and bring the words to life how he saw it rather than try to tell him what to do. He’s amazing.
As far as considerations, I had to learn to be pretty concise and learn how to say more with less words. I had to be pretty ruthless with my editing, but it was a fun challenge and made me realize what was really necessary and what was just fat that needed to be trimmed.
FS: I think another question is why now? After the past few years since all of the THIS happened, why tell the rest of the story now? (Don’t get me wrong; I’m hooked!)
DH: In true black metal fashion, the story of Witch Taint moves at its own pace and has been plagued with periods of inactivity while I sat and brooded by a babbling brook that mocked me in the night. And when the idea of presenting the story in the form of a comic book series came along, it felt perfect. I’m excited to see what the next chapter of Witch Taint will be. No doubt it will be extreme and most people won’t be able to handle it. Not even your mom.
FS: Looking back at those days, what is some of the most exhilarating and most scary that the hoax got for you?
DH: I was pretty amazed once the original email exchange came out on the Internet how quickly it spread all over the world, especially considering I had never planned on anyone ever seeing them. And I guess the scariest part is when I started to get threatening messages from black metal bands who wanted to fight me. After all, it is a historically murdery genre of music, so it’s not a good idea to get on these guys’ bad side. And today, it’s exhilarating that the Witch Taint story is finally being told in comic book form. It’s a story that refuses to die.
FS: If you had a final pitch for the comic, what would it be?
DH: If anyone doesn’t love Dark Regards, they can kick me directly in the taint. That’s how much I stand by its awesomeness.
Dark Regards #2 goes on sale Wednesday, June 11, 2025, from Oni Press.
From the official press release about Dark Regards:
SOMETIMES YOU BREAK THE INTERNET – AND SOMETIMES THE INTERNET BREAKS YOU! ~ Oni Press – the multiple Eisner and Harvey award-winning publisher of groundbreaking comic books and graphic novels since 1997– is proud to announce DARK REGARDS #1 – THE TRUE STORY OF THE VIRAL HOAX SO INSANE IT COULD ONLY BE TOLD AS A COMIC BOOK! From the mind of multi-hyphenate writer-comedian-actor-musician Dave Hill (Tasteful Nudes) and breakout artist Artyom Topilin (Cruel Universe, I Hate This Place) comes the SHOCKINGLY TRUE, TERRIFYINGLY HILARIOUS, AND ONLY MODESTLY EXAGGERATED tale of how one stand-up comedian forged a secret online identity as America’s first true black metal icon . . .and started an international incident that almost wiped Gary, Indiana off the map!
“Back in 2018, Dave Hill sat down with noted intellectual Malcolm Gladwell to finally come clean about his double life. A brilliant comedian, writer, satirist, and musician, Dave has done everything from play sold-out shows with Bill Murray and Tenacious D to write the theme song for John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight on HBO,” said Hunter Gorinson, enthused president and publisher of Oni Press. “But he’d never before revealed the details of how he’d orchestrated a years-long internet hoax by posing as the frontman of a fictional band, only to accidentally touch off an international trail of mayhem that included kidnappings, attempted human sacrifice, and the vandalizing of the last freestanding Bob’s Big Boy restaurant in the Midwest. Call it a guilty conscience . . . but, to this day, Dave still has only told half the story. Now, at last, the raw fury of the DARK REGARDS can finally be told – and, as visually reconstructed through the brilliant artwork of illustrator Artyom Topilin – rest assured: only the comic book medium can totally capture the depraved intensity of what Dave hath wrought on us all.”
Two decades ago, Dave Hill and his first band set out to rock their high school auditorium in a fury of heavy metal hellfire. They failed miserably. Years later, Dave has made a new life for himself as a rising star in the New York comedy scene – a career where getting laughed at on stage is the entire point and not just a tragic consequence. But when Dave’s metal ambitions are re-awakened by the über self-serious, “Satanic” genre of Norwegian black metal, Dave creates a ridiculously hyperbolic alter ego and a band to match that, together, reignite the spark of his forgotten rock ‘n roll fantasy. But when Dave’s internet-fueled rumors of Witch Taint – a metal band “so extreme that you must remove all sharp objects from the immediate area” when their music is played – spreads all the way to Europe, his story will spiral dangerously out of control as Norway’s most extreme black metal butchers come to reap their revenge . . . and put everything and everyone Dave holds dear in the crosshairs (of their axes, which, truth be told, don’t actually have crosshairs, but, hey, it’s a metaphor).
“Like all the best black metal bands, Witch Taint existed entirely in my mind at first, mostly because I didn’t think anyone could handle it,” said Dave Hill. “But it could not be contained. And now the mighty Witch Taint has no choice but to destroy the universe. Or at least the suburbs.”
FOR REAL: YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR THE DOSE OF HELLFIRE THAT IS DARK REGARDS #1 – laying siege (the old-fashioned medieval way with cool, long ladders and boiling oil and maces and stuff) to comic shops everywhere on May 13th with Artyom Topiin (Cruel Universe, I Hate This Place), Andrew Krahnke (GI Joe: A Real American Hero – Silent Missions, Bloodrik), Scott Sugiuchi (Estrus: Shovelin’ The Sh*t), Brian Level (Razorblades, Night People) and an ultra-special top-secret one WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT YET from Dave Hill himself.
And from the official issue #2 description:
From writer Dave Hill (Tasteless Nudes) and artist Artyom Topilin (Cruel Universe), the insanely true tale of how one stand-up comedian went to war with Norway’s most feared black metal barbarians is just warming up! After being visited by visions of the mysterious Lord Abscess—a real-life black metal cannibal so hardcore he ate himself to death—Dave has forged his band Witch Taint into full-fledged reality! But, in doing so, he’s also wrought the wrath of Norway’s most feared record label, and they’re flying coach all the way to Gary, Indiana, to settle the score! (True fact: It’s totally OK to put axes in your checked luggage, they just can’t be in your carry-on.)